Living with Lyme Disease

Prior to my recent publication of Heidi Seek and other stories, some people who know me (or know of me as a writer/tutor), may have asked themselves...well, what exactly happened to A.F. McGuinness between 2011-2013? After all, he had been teaching creative writing at two universities in Canterbury...hadn't he? And he was working on a new novel...wasn't he? And then...just silence..

Perhaps I didn't want to be labelled, but this is the first time I've ever talked about my illness beyond the confines of close family and friends during the past three and a half years (the word "nightmare" cannot possibly do justice to the life I and my wife were forced to lead), but a recent tweet/ link to a story of a Lyme disease- sufferer Lyme story in Daily Mail  has convinced me to break my own silence, and talk about Lyme disease and how it can destroy lives. Stories like this make my blood boil.

The true story in the Daily Mail brought home - as if it needed bringing home -  the hell that I endured (and to a degree still endure), from initial signs of bacterial infection, to an acute neurological phase involving brain inflammation, during which I felt genuinely close to death; periods of hospitalisation; and later, learning to live with a chronic condition that may or may not be curable. All beginning with a little bite from a tick! If living with Lyme disease and its symptoms are not bad enough, many NHS patients are made a double victim by poor medical/ clinical diagnoses, and intransigence regarding treatment. This is well documented nationally and worldwide. I am not alone when I say that I am a survivor not because of NHS treatment, but rather despite it. If you want to know more about Lyme disease in general, and read some true stories, and find important information about how you can avoid the disease in the first place (with summer almost upon us, you really must find out how to protect yourself from ticks), please visit the Lyme Disease Action group here:Lyme Disease Action

Every Lyme patient has their own unique story to tell, but it is truly scandalous just how many times the same story recurs: signs of illness, misdiagnosis, confusion, delay in treatment or no treatment at all. The repercussions of late treatment or non-existent treatment, as I sadly know only too well, are potentially disastrous in the extreme. The likelihood for me (and for thousands of others in the same boat) is that I will have to tolerate or accommodate a life-long bacterial infection that follows a pattern of "relapsing-remitting" pain and fatigue. This is really why I was unable to write much from 2011-13; I was genuinely trying to stay alive. It was not until little green shoots of recovery showed themselves in late 2013/early 2014 (after appropriate antibiotic treatment) that Heidi Seek was finalised, and I am now cracking on with my second novel. I am well enough to do that.

My experiences during the past past three and a half years have been harrowing...so harrowing in fact that I am compelled to write about them. Of course, I first tried to write a "Lyme memoir", exploring every creative non-fiction avenue, but in the end the reality of events were so painful, and too close for comfort to complete. Rather than writing a memoir, I was digging my own grave with every page.

Which is why, in time, I have distanced myself from the nightmare, in the form of fiction. After all, fiction is what I write. This time, it will be semi-autobiographical. It can be no other way. The story has to be told through the eyes of another.

To anybody out there who suffers with Lyme disease, all I can say is hang on in there. You are not alone. You can feel better in time. Seek advice and appropriate treatment where and when you can. Visit Lyme Disease Action too. It is a mine of useful up-to-date information.

Good luck, and good health,

AFM

FAN - a book review

Last night, I attended the Canterbury book launch of FAN, a novel by Danny Rhodes. Danny and I go back a few years, first working together promoting writing in Canterbury and its district as part of a Laureate programme. We also teamed up as mentors, guiding and advising aspiring first-time novelists from the region. So I know how good he is...

Danny has written three novels of his own, the most recent of which is FAN.  

Set in 2004 and semi-autobiographical in nature, the novel follows the fortunes of John Finch, a school teacher in the midst of a nervous breakdown. The reason? Well, John is still struggling to come to terms with what he and friends witnessed during the atrocious football tragedy at Hillsborough in 1989 (Danny himself was at the ground that day as a Nottingham Forest fan). Fifteen years on from that disaster, struggling to focus at work and at home, John Finch hears of a tragedy befalling an old friend who stood beside him on the terraces at Hillsborough that day, and this proves to be the catalyst for Finch's journey back to his northern roots (the town of Grantham), his old relationships (male and female), and back to face the feelings that are somehow holding him back in life. To move forwards, though, Finch must go back and revisit his past, like the scene of a crime. What Finch must try to do is lay some ghosts...and do some deep soul-searching in the process. Can he right any of the wrongs of his past? Can he make sense of his present and move contentedly into a new future...? (although contentedly is not the right word) These questions form the backbone of the story.

Danny does very well moving the narrative to and from the 1980s and 2004. As someone who stood on football terraces in the 1980s (albeit Upton Park!), I can vouch for the authenticity and grit. Likewise, as someone raised on a council estate in the 1970s/80s, I can feel my own past in Danny's descriptions of a certain class. This novel is not like anything the author has ever written before. At his launch last night, he spoke of "catharsis", and a burden he has carried as a witness who walked away from the horrors of Hillsborough (though, as he says, psychologically one cannot ever walk away); and yet, at the same time, he also manages to conjure the brotherhood that came with being a devoted football fan in the 1980s. Much was wrong with football back then (draconian policing, dangerously decaying and cramped stadiums, hooliganism etc), but  deep friendships were also forged in fanaticism. For Danny (and John Finch) Hillsborough changed all that. 

Yes, there are a lot of football references in this novel (the match details at times are astonishing), but this novel is also about Thatcher's Britain. Not just the ruthless application of her policies of the 1980s, but the legacy she has left behind. Fan is a comment on these things, among others. Despite a bleakness that runs through the book (how can it not given the subject-matter?), there is deep respect for all of the victims of Hillsborough and their families, and importantly there is also a note of hope. In the end, FAN, for me, is as much about trying to survive as it is about making sense of human tragedy. The writing is fast-flowing and riveting, the details amazing, and the moral purpose sure-footed. 

Danny said last night that he was trying to be as honest as possible in his novel; being true to himself and to the facts of the past. He has acheived this so brilliantly. For more on the author and FAN, please visit his site here:  Danny Rhodes

Danny will also be appearing at the WhitLit festival, Whitstable, on Sunday, May 11. Details here: WhitLit/Danny Rhodes

AFM

WhitLit Festival, Whitstable, May 8-11.

This May, in the bustling seaside town of Whitstable, a wonderful new Literary Festival will be born, and it's name is WhitLit. The hard-working and visionary creator, Victoria Falconer, has organised an amazing variety of writers and events. It opens with a play about the life of Somerset Maugham who had a strong connection with Whitstable (Thursday 8) and concludes on Sunday 11 with  a full interview with actor-turned-crime writer, John Gordon Sinclair. If you'd like to see exactly who and what is on throughout this literary extravaganza, and purchase tickets, please follow this link:WhitLit

You won't be disappointed.

I am thrilled to be hosting two very exciting events at WhitLit. The first is called "Transformers" to be held at The Horsebridge Centre, Whitstable, on Saturday 10, 4-30 to 5-30pm. It will consisit of a full discussion about transformations in society (good and bad) during the Victorian era, as viewed by three exceptional historical crime writers: D.E. Meredith, Lloyd Shepherd and Wendy Wallace. I have read much of their work, all of it thoroughly intriguing and enjoyable, and each writer has a different 'take' on the period itself. Their historical novels are mesmerising. As a former historian, now fiction-writer, I for one have many questions to ask them, not least why and how they set their books in this period. Why not come along and ask your own questions too..? For more details about the event, the authors and their books, please follow this link:"Transformers" event, Sat May 10

D.E. Meredith

Lloyd Shepherd

Wendy Wallace

I shall be wrapping up WhitLit this year with a BIG interview with the very talented John Gordon Sinclair. Those as old as me (though this isn't too old!), might remember John as the affable and lovesick "Gregory" in the successful Bill Forsyth film, Gregory's Girl. Since then, he has gone on to win acclaim for performances on the stage as well as featuring in Hollywood blockbusters such as World War Z alongside Brad Pitt. But what's this got to do with Literarature...? Well, the buzz around John at the moment is his amazing talent as a crime writer. His first novel, Seventy Times Seven, has been called "one of the finest debuts of the decade", and his second, Blood Whispers,  is sure to be just as well received. I can honestly say that both books are the best films I've read in many years, so visual is his style.

As his host and interviewer (Sunday 11 May, 7-30 to 8-30pm), I was allowed privileged access to Blood Whispers before its official release by Faber and Faber in May/June. All I can say is...if you like your crime novels fast-paced and unpredictable, your characters rounded, and are not too squeamish about violence, you must buy this novel...it is a hell of a ride!

I shall be talking to John about his transition from acting to crime writing, the style and substance of his two exciting novels, his influences and motivations, and maybe even his new image! This is John Gordon Sinclair as you probably haven't seen him before. Why not come along and hear what he has to say too? Details as follows: John Gordon Sinclair event

John Gordon Sinclair

I can't wait to host my two events at the inaugural Whitstable Literary Festival. This town has a lot of writers, but come May, it will be full to the rafters with them...hurrah!

AFM

Heidi Seek and other stories is published today..!

I'm very excited to announce the publication of my debut short story collection, Heidi Seek and other stories with Red Sail Press. From today, this is available as an eBook from Amazon here: Heidi Seek

and will be rolled out to all other e-reading devices during the next couple of weeks. But don't fret if you don't own a Kindle reader or i-Pad; the paperback will be available later this month. 

Heidi Seek and other stories is inspired by some of my favourite writers who wrote in the genres of mystery, imagination and horror: Edgar Allan Poe, M.R. James and Franz Kafka. Kafka is included because of his love of the nightmarish and surreal, James for his natural affinity with ghosts, and Poe for his psychological suspense and terror. As is mentioned in the foreword to this collection, each story explores the thin line between light and dark, good and evil, dream and nightmare. Lurking inside my book are ghosts and murderers, misfortunates, a penitent priest, and a curse that lasts more than a hundred years...not to mention a macabre doll with a life all of its own! But don't be too frightened; the collection is less of a gory bloodfest and more of a psychological horror book, appealing to a reader's innermost thoughts as well as their emotions. That way a story may linger longer in the mind...

Some of the stories have been published before in literary magazines, others are brand new, but even the previously published stories have been substantially re-written for the purposes of this particular book. For a flavour of one of the stories (the title story in fact), please click the link above and look inside Heidi Seek. 

And no, I'm not playing an April Fool's Day trick...!


AFM